Charlie had his follow up visit with the Orthopedist today, and I was able to tag along with Ansley, who wasn’t sure she was going to make after having been out of commission with Strep the past few days. No worries there, though, she’s been feeling much better this afternoon! They took his cast off so they could get more x-rays, and I was able to see the ulcer on his heel for the first time. Man – it looks quite painful. It had burst sometime in the past 2 weeks, and looks to be well on the way to healing, but it still needs to be monitored.

Charlie’s fractures seem to be mending quite well, although they still caused him a bit of pain when the doctor was examining him. He was able to walk on it with minimal discomfort, and the doctor (Mr. Wilson as he calls himself!) seemed to be more concerned with the ulcer than the fractures at this point. He chose to leave the cast off so we could begin to get the ulcer treated. He got a special shoe to wear on the foot (I think they called it a post-op shoe) and we do need to be careful to keep Charlie from putting too much pressure on the foot for a couple of weeks longer (like jumping up and down – that will be challenging!). It took a few minutes once we got home for Charlie to get comfortable walking around again, but he was motoring around the house in no time.

The coolest part of the night was getting to give Charlie his first REAL bath in over 2 weeks! While he had his cast, Ansley and I would lay him in the tub, and I’d hold his cast up in the air while Ansley bathed him, to keep the cast from getting wet. He’d gotten to dislike that process quite a bit! So, tonight when we told him it was time to take a bath, he started off going “No Bath!” like he had been doing recently, and was a little fussy as we carried him upstairs. Once we had the bath ready, and put him in it, his face INSTANTLY lit up and you could tell he was thinking something like “Wait – I get to play in here by myself again? Awesome!” He loved every minute of it and was splashing around and playing in the tub like always.

In the end, although the past two weeks were more challenging than normal around the Cox household, I’m pretty amazed at how quickly Charlie adapted to life with a cast. He never complained about it once, and generally took everything new that came his way in stride.

The Episode of the Broken Foot is (hopefully) on its way to being history.

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I recently discussed a situation involving spanking with several people and a couple of the responses I got were: “I was spanked and there’s nothing wrong with me.” And “Well, maybe you shouldn’t do that when they are little, but once they get older and can understand you more, then it is fine.” I could not disagree more. Maybe some adults spank children because they do not have the knowledge of how to better handle challenging situations. Perhaps it is because the act of spanking is ingrained in them – that being spanked is simply a part of growing up. Whatever their reasons for spanking, I feel it is wrong.

What other purpose than instilling fear does spanking accomplish? It does not teach a child to make their own decisions based on what is right or wrong. It does not help them to trust their own judgment or instinct. Spanking is trying to make a child submit to your will without addressing the problem intellectually. It is bullying that is not acceptable in any other situation than that of an adult to a child.

There are times when I have been tempted to spank Charlie. It can get very frustrating to deal with toddlers! At those times, I pause to take a step back and think about what is going on with ME. Am I stressed, feeling rushed or feeling bad mentally or physically? It is up to me to be the level-headed, reasonable adult when Charlie is displaying age-appropriate behavior.

Charlie’s just now getting to an age (2 years old) where he’s beginning to grasp the “whys” of what we’re talking about when we have to stop him from doing something or correct him. We still use distraction and redirection as much as possible. With the verbal communication we know he understands a lot of it, but often times all he knows at the moment is that mom or dad is telling him he can’t do something he really wants to do. Still, ever since he’s been mobile enough to get himself into trouble, we’ve tried to include an explanation. (For a long time it was more for John and me to get into the Positive Discipline mindset than to expect him to comprehend us.) We keep explanations simple because of his age – but it is still giving him a real reason for our reactions to his actions.

For example, Charlie bit for a while. We would say, “Charlie, we do not bite. Biting hurts.” It was said firmly but gently. At 6 months, he didn’t understand our reasons, but it helped us (and him) get into a habit of clearly stating (and hearing) reasons why it was wrong. Now when he gets upset at us telling him not to do something, he’s beginning to grasp that we aren’t just doing it to stop his fun! There are reasons we correct him – and those reasons are grounded in reality and are not simply arbitrary. As he grows, John and I will work hard to add many Positive Discipline tools to our toolbox. Charlie will comprehend things more fully as his communication skills increase. I know that very soon from now he will want to know more in-depth reasons why he can’t do things. By laying the groundwork now, we will be able to expand upon the reasons like we have always done, without yelling, having to fall back on the tired, old “Because I said so!” And without spanking.

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I’m building a collection of little surprises I find sometimes…

Toys in the washer is the most common of the little surprises.

A new interest is placing objects precisely in the ice dispenser. At my parents’ house, he worked for almost a minute at getting a tomato to stand up straight in the very middle of the tray. Hmmm…forming theories about his future profession…

The rule is that if toys get thrown in the sink, they are off-limits until they are washed and rinsed. It hasn’t deterred him yet.

I didn’t take a photo of all the tampons he stuffed into his T-ball stand, although that was the funniest.

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